Poem about Economics

If you do some acrobatics with a little mathematics it will take you far along. If your idea’s not defensible don’t make it comprehensible or folks will find you out, and your work will draw attention if you only fail to mention what the whole thing is about. Your must talk of GNP and of […]

Digging A Hole

there were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole, he would dig, dig, dig, the other would come behind him and fill the hole, fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously. One digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t […]

Windshield Wiper Sermon

one rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat. "Mom, I’m thinking of something." This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact […]

Sermons from God

A┬ápreacher’s little boy inquired, “Daddy, I notice every Sunday morning when you first come out to preach, you sit up on the platform and bow your head. What are you doing?” The father explained, “I’m asking the Lord to give me a good sermon.” The little boy said, “Why don’t he?”

The Clergymen and the Lottery

three clergymen split on a lottery ticket and they won the grand prize of a million dollars. The first one, a baptist minister says "this is a blessing, but how much do we keep for ourselves and how much should we give to God"? After a few minutes he saidm "I know we’ll draw a […]

The Pig

A redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC. As the truck drove away–one of the pigs fell out. He walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck. He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up […]

What Time Is It

a man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on […]

Answering machine message 181

(From a distance:) Hello I’m far very away from the phone at the moment and can’t get to it to take your message, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I get nearer to the phone!

Answering machine message 259

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: […]

Answering machine message 239

Yo. I ain’t here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I’ll get back… (Sniff, sniff…) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good.