Things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving

“Whew, that’s one terrific spread!” “I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.” “Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.” “Talk about a huge breast!” “It’s Cool Whip time!” “If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!” “Are you ready for seconds yet?” “Are you going to come again next time?” “It’s a […]

Waving Around Your… Religion

Comparing trunks…

Your Mom Does What?!

 

Mark Zuckerberg v. Julian Assange

Who’s the real villain?

5 Unforgettable Pulp Fiction Quotes

#5. “Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster’s Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?”      #4. “Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what […]

Frisky After 50 Years of Marriage

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then […]

Flower Curse

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, “Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again, for no reason.” The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, What’s the big deal, […]

Nudist Colony

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. One his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?” The man replies […]

Noodle and Hair

A man goes into a greasy spoon restaurant and orders a bowl of chicken soup. “What’s this?!?!?” he screams! “There’s a pussy hair in my soup! I’m not payin’ for it!” and he storms out… The waitress gets very upset at this and follows him out and sees him go to the whore house across […]