Feline Physics Laws

Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change […]

Giving Cats Pills

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill […]

Bear Efficiency

Bear Efficiency…Some just know how to get things done! These pictures are said to have been taken by a guy from Grande Cache, Alberta,1.5 hours south of Grande Prairie, by the Berland River on Highway 40.Take a look at the time frame in the bottom right-hand corner of each photo … It took just ten […]

Comparing trunks…

The Feline Diet

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people — such as getting lots of table scraps — most […]

Removing a Gorilla

A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs, and a shotgun. “Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla […]

Elephant jokes 14

Why shouldn’t you take an elephant to the zoo? Because he’d rather go to the movies! What’s blue and has big ears? An elephant at the North Pole! What’s grey and lights up? An electric elephant! What’s big and grey and protects you from the rain? An umbrellaphant! What do you do with a green […]

Sounds of the Wild

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her […]

A dog’s chalkboard assignments

This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food. Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium; cat litter […]

This is one smart dog

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. “You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices […]