Be good out there folks… here’s a sampling of bar graffiti and St Patricks Day humor for ya!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said “who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?” The cowboy looked at the Lone […]
A guy walked into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He put the crocodile up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this croc’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open […]
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I […]
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informed him that he was not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested to the drunk to prove he wasn’t drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor. As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk […]
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong. “Well,” replies Paul, “You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?” “Yes,” replies Jeff with a laugh. “Well,” […]
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her […]
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?” “Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up. “What about it?” “Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…” “What are you talkin’ about?!” the biker says, disbelievingly. “How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?” “Well, it […]
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from […]
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. “Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman. “Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. “You’re under 18,” replies the barman.