Answering machine message 259

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: […]

Too Tired

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” She swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten […]

3 Blondes Go to Heaven

On day a redhead , a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it […]

UFO

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters “UFO” were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young […]

Game of Intelligence

A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed […]

Blonde Detectives

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only […]

Not Fair

There were 3 women, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. All three work together. Each day their boss leaves an hour earlier, while the 3 stay and clean up. One day when the boss had gone the brunette lady said “It’s not fair we shouldn’t stay an hour longer, lets go.” So they left. […]

Pains all over the Body

The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a Complaint of pains all over her body. “Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt. The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, […]

Santa and the Blonde!

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She asks “Santa, will you stay with me?” Santa says, “Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y’know!” She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a […]

The Blonde Cop

A blonde police officer stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The driver searches around in her handbag but can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.” The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist searches around in her […]