Digging A Hole

there were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole, he would dig, dig, dig, the other would come behind him and fill the hole, fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously. One digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t […]

Windshield Wiper Sermon

one rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat. "Mom, I’m thinking of something." This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact […]

Sermons from God

A┬ápreacher’s little boy inquired, “Daddy, I notice every Sunday morning when you first come out to preach, you sit up on the platform and bow your head. What are you doing?” The father explained, “I’m asking the Lord to give me a good sermon.” The little boy said, “Why don’t he?”

The Clergymen and the Lottery

three clergymen split on a lottery ticket and they won the grand prize of a million dollars. The first one, a baptist minister says "this is a blessing, but how much do we keep for ourselves and how much should we give to God"? After a few minutes he saidm "I know we’ll draw a […]

The Pig

A redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC. As the truck drove away–one of the pigs fell out. He walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck. He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up […]

What Time Is It

a man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on […]

Please Change This Report Card

Peter walked up to his teacher’s desk, holding a report card with a big red F. “If I were you,” said Peter, “I would change this while you still can.” “Why is that?” asked the teacher. “Because my daddy told me that if I brought home one more failing report card, someone was going to […]

Support for the Young

my husband Jeff and I incurred several problems while assembling our new computer system, so we called the help desk. The man on the phone started to talk to Jeff in computer jargon, which confused us even more. "Sir," my husband politely said, "please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old." […]

At the ATM Machine

BDifferences Between The Sexes Observed At The Drive-Up ATM Machine. HIM: 1) Pull up to ATM 2) Insert card 3) Enter PIN number and account 4) Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1) Pull up to ATM 2) Check makeup in rearview mirror 3) Shut off engine 4) Put keys in purse 5) Get out […]

Larger Steak

one night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don’t love me any more…" "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."