At the ATM Machine

BDifferences Between The Sexes Observed At The Drive-Up ATM Machine. HIM: 1) Pull up to ATM 2) Insert card 3) Enter PIN number and account 4) Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1) Pull up to ATM 2) Check makeup in rearview mirror 3) Shut off engine 4) Put keys in purse 5) Get out […]

Larger Steak

one night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don’t love me any more…" "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

Questions For God

a man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?" GOD says, "So you would like them." "OK," the guy says. "But how come you […]

For Married Couples Only

BHow to satisfy your wife every time Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, […]

Ladies First

a journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for […]

Water in the Carby

BWIFE: "There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."

The Power of Women

there were 11 people hanging on to a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. Finally the woman gave a really […]

A Point of View

an English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Joys of Womanhood

blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. Time may […]

10 Reasons God Created Eve

B10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because He knew men would never ask for directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don’t want to see what is on TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on […]