How much do YOU love Superbowl Sunday?

M&M Evolution theory

M&M’s: The Theory of Evolution Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks […]

Food laughs & humor

From Harper’s Magazine: Amount of pizza eaten each day in U.S. (acres): 75 Found on the seal of a bag of bagels: NEW IMPROVED Made the old fashioned way Sign in a restaurant: “We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone.” Heard on a radio station. What did the female mushroom say about the […]

Food quotes and quips

Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . . “Artichokes … are just plain annoying … After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.” — Miss Piggy “The most remarkable […]

Purchasing a turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Wise cooking advice

This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven’t seen listed in any cookbooks. While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at least two smoke detectors going. Then you go rushing about the house, opening all the […]

Placing your order

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.” The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be […]

Caffeine addict quiz

Caffeine Addict’s Quiz: Do you want to know if you suffer from “Alertness Deficit Disorder” (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds […]

Bad convenience foods

The Eight Worst Convenience Foods And I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs … 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a […]

The bachelor’s diet

Bachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and […]