The new rhea farmer

A computer programmer, bored with his job, decided to start his own business. Wanting to do something totally different from his current occupation, he bought a mating pair of rheas and a large tract of land. His rhea farm was soon doing a booming business as there appeared to be a great demand for the […]

Jewish anthropologist

A Jewish anthropologist, Benny Steinfeld, was working in the desert near Israel when he happened upon an odd looking vase. After cleaning it he pried open the lid and was astonished when a genie sprang from the container and granted him 3 wishes. Steinfeld wished for enormous wealth, huge land holdings and a bevy of […]

Hard working Penny

Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage […]

The Fence

There’s this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: This parking space belongs to the Wizard. … Violators will be toad.”””,Wizard in the factory,,future,open,open,,wizard-in-the-factory,,,2013-06-02 22:12:43,2013-06-03 06:12:43,,0,http://www.classicforwards.com/wizard-in-the-factory/,0,post,,0 8833,1,2013-06-03 02:30:21,2013-06-03 10:30:21,”there was […]

Visiting the lawyer

A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park. While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape. He ran straight to […]

Trying to fix a clock

Harvey’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?” Harvey says, “I’m […]

Doctor goes to a bar

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that […]

Actors picking parts

A director is screen testing Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part to, he asks Sly who he would like to be. Stallone says “I like Mozart. I want to be Mozart” So the Director says, “Very well, you can be […]

Eskimos and weevils

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank – proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed […]

Pigeon flying in sky

But baby pigeon said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get too tired.” His mother said, “Don’t worry; I’ll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.” The baby started to cry. “What’s wrong?” said the mother. “I don’t want to be pigeon towed!”