The new rhea farmer

A computer programmer, bored with his job, decided to start his own business. Wanting to do something totally different from his current occupation, he bought a mating pair of rheas and a large tract of land. His rhea farm was soon doing a booming business as there appeared to be a great demand for the […]

Jewish anthropologist

A Jewish anthropologist, Benny Steinfeld, was working in the desert near Israel when he happened upon an odd looking vase. After cleaning it he pried open the lid and was astonished when a genie sprang from the container and granted him 3 wishes. Steinfeld wished for enormous wealth, huge land holdings and a bevy of […]

Hard working Penny

Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage […]

The Fence

There’s this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: This parking space belongs to the Wizard. … Violators will be toad.”””,Wizard in the factory,,future,open,open,,wizard-in-the-factory,,,2013-06-02 22:12:43,2013-06-03 06:12:43,,0,http://www.classicforwards.com/wizard-in-the-factory/,0,post,,0 8833,1,2013-06-03 02:30:21,2013-06-03 10:30:21,”there was […]

Eskimos and weevils

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank – proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed […]

Pigeon flying in sky

But baby pigeon said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get too tired.” His mother said, “Don’t worry; I’ll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.” The baby started to cry. “What’s wrong?” said the mother. “I don’t want to be pigeon towed!”

A contest and a bird

Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. So … the one flies over and the other one swims through-which one gets to the worm first? The one who swam, of course, because “Da oily boid gets da […]

Atoms and a Buddhist

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!” Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

The dog and neutron

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

A grandson’s coffee

A Grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning when he had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, “Honey, what are the army […]