Ponderings collection 28

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Why is the word big so little and the word little so big? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Does the Little […]

Daily Ponderings

Why do they report power outages on TV? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11? I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver’s side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side. […]

Ponderings collection 33

Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? So what’s the speed of dark? Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food? I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. Why do they sterilize needles for […]

Ponderings collection 43

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is […]

Ponderings collection 35

Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and […]

Ponderings collection 01

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? If you can’t drink and drive, […]

Ponderings collection 34

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it? Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? How come abbreviated is such a long word? If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold […]

Ponderings collection 03

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says — “objects in mirror are closer than they appear”, how can that be possible? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell […]

Ponderings collection 36

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the […]

Ponderings collection 02

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you’re in a vehicle going the speed […]