Dating hints for men

There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date… I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you. I used to come […]

The bum on a street

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, “Will you buy booze?” The bum said, “No.” The man asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No.” Then the man asked, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

Compare the genders

Differences Between Men & Women NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless. EATING OUT: And […]

Men advising women

Advice From Men To Women …Never buy a ‘new’ brand of beer because ‘it was on sale.’ …If we’re in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn’t mean we’re not watching it. …Don’t tell anyone we can’t afford a new car. Tell them we don’t want one. …Whenever possible please […]

Short gender jokes

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Did you hear they finally made a device […]

Education for women

Continuing Education Courses for Women Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits. Parties: Going Without New Outfits. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too. Bathroom Etiquette II: His […]

Modems beat women

Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman: A modem doesn’t ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing “AT”. When you’re done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty. A modem won’t say a […]

Christmas tree better

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman” A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb […]

Translations for men

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say… “IT’S A GUY THING” Translated:* “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.” “CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” Translated:* “Why […]

His and her road trips

HIS and HERS Road Trip HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. opens window asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer Arrives at destination presently. HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. Finally rolls […]