Lightbulb joke collection 14

Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to change it and two to have a debate about whether this is the right time of year to be putting in lightbulbs or daffodil bulbs. Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one. The […]

Lightbulb joke collection 102

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer”, and the party of the […]

Lightbulb joke collection 106

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: At least a dozen, but it’s impossible to tell which one it is, because they’re all pointing at each other going “That’s me, over there !” Q: How many Bill Gates’ (runs Microsoft) does it take to change a lightbulb? A: […]

Lightbulb joke collection 105

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: They can’t change light bulbs… Without light, they can’t read the manual, and without the manual, they can’t figure out how to change the light bulb. Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Wait! Maybe […]

Lightbulb joke collection 96

Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four–one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. Q: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two thirds. Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? […]

Lightbulb joke collection 101

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ? A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it. Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 […]

Lightbulb joke collection 98

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: That depends on the wage rate. Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb. Q: How many economists does it take to screw […]

Lightbulb joke collection 99

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb. Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They haven’t got a policy on that. Q: How many socialists does it take […]

Lightbulb joke collection 97

Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One–but he has to wait until the light is better. Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building. Q: How many editors does it […]

Lightbulb joke collection 100

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: None — He’ll only promise “change.” Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: He doesn’t. He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security […]