The math one-liners

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity – infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together! Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x… Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x? Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. […]

The birthday study

It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. — S. den Hartog, Ph D. Thesis Universtity of Groningen.

Risk of plane bombs

A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non has terrible flight panic. “Hey, don’t worry, it’s just every 10000th flight that crashes.” “1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!” “Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It’s […]

Crocodile is longer

Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide. Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let’s look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green. Lemma 2. The […]

Proof E equal to one

Theorem: e=1 Proof: 2*e = f 2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i) e^(2*pi*i) = 1 Therefore: 2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i) 2=f Thus: e=1

Math is turning bad

“Psst, c’mere,” said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed. “What are you selling?” I asked. “Geometrical algebra drugs.” “Huh!?” “Geometry drugs. Ya got your uppers, your downers, your sidewaysers, your inside-outers…” “Stop right there,” I interrupted. “I’ve never […]

Two plus two is five

“First and above all he was a logician. At least thirty-five years of the half-century or so of his existence had been devoted exclusively to proving that two and two always equal four, except in unusual cases, where they equal three or five, as the case may be.” — Jacques Futrelle, “The Problem of Cell […]

Story about infinity

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers […]

N equals N plus one

Theorem: n=n+1 Proof: (n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1 Bring 2n+1 to the left: (n+1)^2 – (2n+1) = n^2 Substract n(2n+1) from both sides and factoring, we have: (n+1)^2 – (n+1)(2n+1) = n^2 – n(2n+1) Adding 1/4(2n+1)^2 to both sides yields: (n+1)^2 – (n+1)(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2 = n^2 – n(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2 This may […]

Numbers equal zero

Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero. Proof: Suppose that a=b. Then a = b a^2 = ab a^2 – b^2 = ab – b^2 (a + b)(a – b) = b(a – b) a + b = b a = 0 Furthermore if a + b = b, and a = b, then […]