Painting shows it all

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. “What a great realist that painter is!” he exclaimed. “What painter?” “The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work’.” “Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren’t working at all!” “That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!”

Choose a punishment

Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. “You can take your choice, private – one month’s restriction or twenty day’s pay,” said the officer. “All right, sir,” said the bright soldier, “I’ll take the money.”

Tribute to the Marines

A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend […]

Speak more precisely

Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. “My sergeants are wonderful”, said one soldier. “I wish I could say the same about mine,” said the other. “You could if you could lie as I do.” A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped […]

New chemical warfare

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: “Anyone knows the formula for water?” “Sure. That’s easy,” said one man. “What is it?” “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.” “What, what?” reasked the instructor. “H to O,” explained the chemistry expert.

High military ranks

When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough. “That’s the only way to command respect in the Army,” his friends said. So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth. “Show me […]

Fishing on the lake

A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar. Catching his […]

Murphy’s 99 Laws of Combat

Murphy’s Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire – isn’t. Recoilless rifles – aren’t. Suppressive fires – won’t. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down. If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid. Try to look unimportant; the enemy […]

An inferiority complex

Private Milton went to psychiatrist and complained: “I have an inferiority complex.” “Nothing I can do for you”, said the doc. “In the Army privates don’t have an inferiority complex… they’re just inferior…” An old man saw a very tired infantryman resting after a hard foot march. The man said with disdain: “When I was […]

Bring some more ammo

The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson’s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: “Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself.” “By shooting?” reasked the company commander, “Not a bad idea! But take as many cartridges as possible.” When asked what he thought about the […]