Painting shows it all

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. “What a great realist that painter is!” he exclaimed. “What painter?” “The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work’.” “Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren’t working at all!” “That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!”

Choose a punishment

Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. “You can take your choice, private – one month’s restriction or twenty day’s pay,” said the officer. “All right, sir,” said the bright soldier, “I’ll take the money.”

Tribute to the Marines

A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . . * United States Marine Corps Birthday: 10 NOVEMBER 1775 * 1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can’t have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend […]

Bring some more ammo

The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson’s Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: “Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself.” “By shooting?” reasked the company commander, “Not a bad idea! But take as many cartridges as possible.” When asked what he thought about the […]

Discuss track types

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said “those are deer tracks.” The second Marine said “No, those are elk tracks.” The third Marine said “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

Brag about parents

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat. “My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?” “Yes,” said the Navy brat. “My dad has built them.” Then the naval kid spoke: “And do you know the Dead Sea?” “Yes.” “It’s my dad who’s killed it!” […]

Physical training job

The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers. “I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he were riding a bicycle,” he explained. “Now begin!” After a few minutes, one of the men stopped. “Why did you stop. Smith?” demanded the […]

Become more effective

The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A sergeant reported thoughtfully: “Sir, I just discovered something that does the work of fifty men.” “What is it?” the officer got interested. “Two hundred soldiers.”

Convince these students

An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: “Why you throw […]

Let’s see the world

Two dogfaces were digging a foxhole. “What made you join the Army?” asked one. “Well, I read one of the posters that said: Join the Army and see the world! And I been doin’ it – a shovelful at a time.”