I like my coffee like i like my women… Without a penis
The "nadajokes" section needs some explanation: the nadajoke is a special type of deadpan humor which is intended to be absurd. The humor lies often in the dry delivery, and these are best served in sets when readers are listeners can get on a roll with the type of humor.
These one-liners aren't for everyone. If you find some of these offensive, I apologize... I've done my best to curate them to remove overtly sexist, racist, or downright offensive nadajokes. In fact you'll find many of them play off and successfully mock the traditionally racist nature of joke-telling in Western culture. That said, please flag, comment, or rate accordingly if you're not digging one. Have fun!
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, “Anything you say can and will be Held against you.” He replies “BREASTS.”
Why wasn’t the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.
A woman went for a midnight jog. She’s been missing for 12 years now.
Two successful businessmen were at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, “Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!” to which the other one replies, “That is my wife.”
A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.
How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy
What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? “Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!”
What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.
A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was polite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.