I’m going to a lecture

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.” the man said. “And who is going to […]

A missing person

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, “He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is […]

Rob the supermarket

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat” He kicks the second bag, and the […]

What is the future

My horoscope read, “You’re going places and you can’t be stopped.” Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn’t read it. Polceman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge?” Polceman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

Try to explain yourself

While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back […]

Disorderly conduct

Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too.” Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you […]

Stop the drunk driver

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, “You drinkin’?” The driver said, “You buyin’?”

Red fire fighter

There are four wheels and eight men on a fire engine. Four and eight makes 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is a ruler. The Queen Elizabeth was a ship. Ships sail in the sea. The sea has fish. Fish have fins. The Finns are always fighting the Russians. Russians are […]

All the strange names

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window. Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names. “Shut Up”, replied Shut Up. […]

Visiting kindergarten

Little Tommy’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, “The 10 Most Wanted.” One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. “Yes,” said the […]