News headlines 04

  Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Air Head Fired Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Deer Kill 17,000 Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni […]

News headlines 03

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84 Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Miners Refuse to Work after Death If Strike […]

News headlines 05

Steals Clock, Faces Time Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Stolen Painting Found by Tree Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy […]

Why ask why 02

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? You know how most […]

Deep Thoughts 15

If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted. We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me. I […]

Why ask why 04

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter? When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? What was the best thing before sliced […]

Deep Thoughts 07

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I […]

Deep Thoughts 16

It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you. I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire […]

Why ask why 05

Is it possible to be totally partial? What’s another word for thesaurus? What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste […]

Deep Thoughts 05

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey […]